My Porn Rant - & Why I Think Outsiders & Apostates Should Stop Speaking For Us.

Earlier this week while lazily scrolling through all of the uninformed/ignorant bull shit on Facebook I came across this open letter by former pornstar Bree Olson. And I got to thinking, why do former adult entertainers, or ex-pat's (for the sake of this blog) do this shit? The answer is simple, attentiont. They either aren't finding as much work or they didn't realize that once you retire you stop getting the attention you once did. That's it. Seriously. I'm not going to retire. Retiring is for whiny little bitches that need attention. This shit happens EVERYDAY. 

What really pisses me off about this? Trying to dissuade someone from joining the adult industry is a waste of breath. If you really want to be helpful to that 18 year old blonde that's thinking about it, tell her to get an agent that listed here. Or to make sure she does research about companies, sex acts, pay scale and to make sure to try the sex acts she's interested in performing on camera with someone she is comfortable with. Because to tell someone not to do porn is about as effective as the abstinence method. You can say "Sure, I wont have sex." But if you really want that dick, you're going to have some fucking dick!  

Also, going on a tirade about why you shouldn't do porn is a lot like saying "I'm not happy with this life choice, so I'm going to shame others for making the same choice." When what you should actually be saying is "I've just started writing an advice column/blog/book for girls that are interested in joining the industry so they don't make the same mistakes that I did." Because as I stated before, she needs attention and shaming others is a bad way to go about it.

Now. let's talk about babies & shame. Since this chagrined ex-pat seems to think that if you do porn, A. You're automatically going to have babies someday. B. You're too stupid to put your big girl pants on and be outright with your friends about what you did prior to squeezing your gross offspring. Or C. That anyone REALLY gives a shit. Seriously? How fucking self important are you? You think that everyone you know is out there reverse image searching YOUR photos, in the off chance you got paid to do something most people do for free? Continuing the cycle of labeling adult entertainment as "shameful", makes you just as horrible as everyone before you, that labeled the industry "shameful". Wouldn't you rather enlighten the world and help them understand that, when done right, there isn't anything to fear in porn, except for maybe the tax man. 

So, to end my personal paroxysm about this subject I'd like to say this. Don't go to ex-pats for advice on the adult industry. You're better off asking those of us still trying to make a living at it. And if you know someone in the industry or thinking about it, don't perpetuate the the cycle of shame. This world would be a better place if we were honest with ourselves and others about what makes us happy or feels right. As my mother always says "Treat others the way you wish to be treated." And yes, she knows what I do for a living.

XOXO - Geisha

Geisha, What is "bb"?

Hi guys! 

I was sort of pondering about something today and it dawned on me, If a random non camsite viewing individual came to my blog they might need a little bit of info on one of the most prevalent terms used by customers in the cam world. The "bb". 

Some of you are reading this right now thinking, "Geisha, I know what 'bb' means, I don't care. GO AWAY!" And to that I say, "Okay, FINE. I'll stop peering into your windows at night & whispering 'bb'." But for the rest of you here goes...

- A Brief History of "BB" - 

So a long long time ago, there was this brand new thing called the Internet, and on the internet came Porn (If you don't know what porn is, I can't help you. God rest your soul and get the fuck out of here). And with porn then came camgirls, (I realize this is starting to sound like some sort of  Biblical internet plague, I promise it's not. I mean, It kind of is...but whatever) and with cam girls came the customers. 

"And Geisha said unto the paying customers 'Let my tokens go!'" - Geisha 4:4

Index of  Customer Levels

Level 1 - Polite, Unoffending, Awesome (With or Without Money)

Level 2 - Douche Bags (With or Without Money)

Level 3 - Honey Dickers (No Money)

Level 4 - Foreigners (With or Without Money)

Level 5 - "BB" Guy 

Not all customers are Level 2 morons, douching around the net, making horrible comments about peoples physical appearance. For the most part, they are AWESOME, grade A,  Level 1 perfection. Great people with kind & generous hearts that just have a burning desire to see some tits while talking to a nice girl. 

There are also the well meaning honey dickers, they never have money but just LOVE to tell you how pretty you are and how much you make their dick hard. The first few comments from these customers are nice but honey dickers are a lot like zombies, they wont stop until you hit them with a kill shot, i.e. ban them. Now that might seem harsh, but these guys are just lurking around hoping that you'll be so overwhelmed by their ability to say nice things that you'll show them a boob. Whatever you do, don't give in, if you do they WILL be back for more freebies, they will bring their friends and that's not a legit business plan. 

Next we have foreigners. Now this is not a racial thing, this literally applies to any cam girl in any country dealing with ANY dude that is struggling but failing hard at chatting in her native tongue. It gets frustrating fast as most of us on camera enjoy communicating verbally and would have to actually leave the chat room to google translate whatever the fuck it is these dudes want to talk about. Sorry boys, keep it to a minimum if you can't handle speaking her language. I'm pretty sure google translate can handle "How much for Boobs?" In every language. And TRUST me she'll appreciate not having to wade through the bullshit two years of "Non-Conversational Traditional Yugoslavian" you slept through 10 years ago in community college. 

And for the final generalization, the "BB" guy. Now I'm sure when some of you think of bb, you think of...

BB King

BB Cream

BB Guns

BB Phone

Or my favorite Butterfinger BB's!

Sadly, a "bb" is none of these. I am a "bb", any cam model is a "bb", and this exists because dudes LOVE to one hand type. So any semblance of a name or moniker you might use is diminished into this piss poor excuse for the word babe or baby, which I find to be loathsome things to be called anyway. Like, I have a name, fucking use it or better yet just call me "G". One letter, super simple, no more bb. The worst part of this category is that pretty much any dude from any of the above categories may use "bb", with the general exception of the non-offending Level 1 party described above. And I mean anyone, I guy might speak to you completely normally in public chat, take you private for an expensive PPM (Pay Per Minute) private and straight out of the gate start calling you "bb". And sadly, in a way this term dehumanizes those of us that have to entertain you. 

So, kindly STOP THAT SHIT. Seriously. For realzies. Totally, STAHP. 

We hate the term, we hate you for using it. Even if you just learn the first letter of our name or make up an acceptable nickname for us, we're usually WAY more pleased then when you call us "bb".

Fellow Cam people! Send me your comments in the section below, or even your most hilarious or mortifying "bb" story!

An Open Letter to My Fellow Cam Girls....

So, I'm having one of those "You probably think this song is about you, don't you!" moments.  Like, I feel like someone is" throwing shade". I'm sure they aren't, I mean I hope they aren't. And it's one of my close cam friends. So, let's just think of this as a lesson in industry friendships of the non-sexual nature. 

I'm not really one to jump to these kinds of conclusions and I'm sure it's more of an attention seeking thing. But let me remind you ladies, if you want to have relationships with other girls in the industry, be open, honest and communicative. Not catty or shady. Customers would rather see you being positive and happy anyway. I understand needing attention, advice, support, WHATEVER, but there are ways to go about it that don't involve the old "poor me, my life is terrible" tactics. And most of us that have been camming long enough KNOW that those tactics don't work unless it's actually an emergency (who woulda thunk?). I also understand airing grievances, Pro-Tip: Twitter isn't the place to do it. Twitter's DMing service works GREAT! Use it some time. Use it if you need attention too! There are plenty of fans that I bet would LOVE a DM even if it's about how X, Y & Z are bothering you. And for that matter, the moment you get on a soap box, publicly, about some asinine bullshit you're going to lose followers and fans, seriously ladies, it ain't worth it! It hurts me because, my non-industry friends don't act like that. I specifically do NOT surround myself with the kinds of people that pull that shit.  And I expect more out of you women.  Generalized shade hurts too. If you believe yourself to be above doing something, then just be. Don't go around quantifying, that's a quick way to a very immature place. Now that I filled your pretty little heads with some Twitter etiquette, STEP YO GAME UP & SEX YO FRAME UP LADIES. That is all. 

Your Friendly Neighborhood Camgirl,

Geisha Monroe

Star Date 3.18.2015

So, I'm finally putting on my big girl pants and writing something in this damn blog of mine. I don't promise it will be funny, interesting or even good. It's just here, like a promise of hope for the future...or something. The first thing I am going to do is say, Thank you to all of my fans and supporters. My 2nd "Camiversary" is fast approaching (April 22nd), and I can't believe that my career has been so wonderful and steady ever since my first day in front of the camera. Some of you may or may not know that my original foray into this world was more of a farce, than a career decision. I'll save the details for another day, but I appreciate all of you who have been with me so far on this journey and for continuing to be the backbone of why I put so much effort into everything I do. You guys are AWESOME!

Some quick special thanks to a few people, I'm sure most of you will just give this section a blank stare, but I'm sure those included will know I mean this with the most utmost sincerity any girl could give... 

WolfDShadow - One of my first mods in existence, always there when I need something kicked in the internet face...unless he's asleep.

KDDickey - He never meant to be a long term cam fan but now he's trapped. Just how we like him...MUAWAWAWAWA.

CBear - An all around amazing woman who REALLY knows how to pack a care package!

Chagle77 - NO EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

TheBumblingIdiot - He's our special little guy and he really knows how to fuck with internet trolls.

If you're not mentioned don't get butt hurt. This is a list for the folks who've been here since the beginning.  Since before Geisha & The Captain had bumped uglies...and that's saying something!

I'm just going to leave you guys with that for now. 

Be cool, stay in school!

XOXO - Geisha